"I think it's a sin to sit down and let your life go, without making a try for it."

There's a kind of a sort of.. cost
There's a couple of things get... lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

I don't know when the fun left, when the fun became a chore.
Maybe I'm just not cut out for this.
I feel like I'm giving 110%, but I just feel inadequate.
I feel so in over my head.
I'm drowning.
But why am I letting this get to me?
Why am I giving in instead of continuing to tread water.
I guess at some point when Ms. Hubbard let us know for the millionth time that we aren't trying hard enough today, that's what broke me.
Can't you see how much I'm giving this?
Do you know how many things I quit to do this?
Damn it! I can't do more than I'm doing now.
Tomorrow's my birthday.
Tomorrow I'll be a legal adult.
And yet tomorrow I'll be just as much of the kid as I was crying on my mom's shoulder tonight because I don't feel good enough.
If this play sucks it's gonna have a lot to do with me, but you know what? I don't know how I'm gonna get re-motivated.  Why didn't I just say that I just wanted to have a chorus role? 
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow's my birthday.
Tomorrow I will overcome this.
Just give me another few minutes gather back up my strength.