"I think it's a sin to sit down and let your life go, without making a try for it."

So uhh.. I had worked super hard this weekend, and figured this week wouldn't be so bad other than English project.  Well, I was extremely wrong.. English project still not done, and we need to have it basically done by tomorrow.. well.. tomorrow I have to do tutoring hours, so I'm already missing some of the musical practice, and then of course, I'll be stuck at school until nine... ergg... It's okay though. I have faith in our lunch time working ability.  Tomorrow I have to take the english test early, since I'll be missing school on Friday, and then I found out I'll have two other tests to make up sometime next week.  Then musical practice and yelling and allergies and everything have been driving me up the wall. I get home every day to find out that things just aren't good.  My grandpa's health is declining.  Those Conrad men.  They hold on to every ounce of life in them and just don't let go.  I guess I realizd that my grandpa was dieing in ninth grade.  Here we are in twelfth grade.  And he's still there.  In Biology we are talking about the nervous system, and it fascinates me.  I now know exactly what causes every problem that my grandpa has.  Where he broke his back in order to paralize him and mess with other bodily functions.  Why frontal lobe dementia would cause him not to speak anymore, and why strokes can mess up other parts too.  I haven't completely gotten why the frontal lobe dementia would cause attitude problems, but I'll get there.  Sometimes I wonder if it would be worse to die quickly, and inflict emotional pain on those around you over the quickness of death, or worse to know your dieing... to watch your body slowly decay, to not be able to communicate your love to those around you, to be confined to a wheelchair and depend on others for everything, to wake up each day with a new issue.  I don't know.  I think he's given up.  I think that's why it's so sad.  To watch a beautiful creature just lay down and die... it's probably the saddest thing ever. My grandparents didn't make it to my brother's graduation two years ago, and I know he won't be at mine.. I just hope he gets to watch the video.  I love him so much.  He's a prince.